Are You Mindful of Your Self-Talk?

by Anna Victoria in Lifestyle

More than what we put in our bodies, and more than how much we move our bodies, how we talk to ourselves is the backbone of a truly happy and healthy lifestyle.

One of the things I really want to help you improve on is the way you talk to yourself and the way you think about yourself. There is never a prerequisite to loving yourself. Taking care of your physical, mental, and emotional self is the real prize, no matter what that looks like on the outside.


The first step is to reflect on how you talk to yourself. The truth is that the vast majority of us are incredibly hard on ourselves – unimaginably hard, in fact! Begin listening to the conversations you have in your head because, without realizing it, the things we say to ourselves can have a huge effect on our subconscious.

Then, I want you to begin practicing positive self-talk. I know that for some this won’t be easy. We can’t realistically expect things to change overnight, but by being mindful, being aware, and being proactive about changing your self-talk, you can absolutely shift your perspective to a more positive one.


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Begin to notice how you react to new challenges. Do you automatically tell yourself, “I can’t do this” or “this is a waste of time”? If you tell yourself from the get-go that you’re going to fail, guess what’s likely to happen? You’re going to fail. There is a quote in Michelle Obama’s book Becoming that says, “failure is a feeling long before it becomes an actual result,” and it’s so true.

So while I can’t expect you to be jumping for joy each time you’re faced with a new challenge, at least tell yourself you’re going to give it your absolute best shot, and do that. That way, even if you fall short, you know that you gave it your best and you are much less likely to be upset with yourself.

Can you hope to do better next time? Sure! But one of the most important parts of transitioning to more positive self-talk is realizing that while you may not be able to do something just yet, you are capable of getting there. Beating down on yourself for not being there yet does nothing to get you any closer than you are now.


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You CAN love yourself and want to work on yourself at the same time.

I want you to accept where you are now and not be mad at yourself for it. Does accepting where you are mean you’re going to be there forever? No. It simply means you recognize where you are and you also recognize you’re capable of improving. EVERYONE can improve on something. Everyone starts somewhere. Don’t tear yourself down before you’ve even started (or even when you’re half-way through) because you’re not where you think you should be, or because you’re not where someone else is.

Another part of being mindful of self-talk is how you deal with your struggles. Struggles are not failures, they’re lessons. Every single struggle should be looked at as a lesson. What can you work on avoiding or learn how to handle better the next time? What are the steps you need to take in order to do so? You may not even succeed the second time around, but learning how to spot this reoccurrence will help you respond better the next time around. Life is going to continue throwing curve balls and we have to learn how to dodge or catch them, not let them knock us down and keep us there.


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Lastly, when you notice negative self-talk creeping in, I want you to ask yourself, “would I say this to my best friend?” No? So why are you saying it to yourself?! I want you to talk to yourself as your own best friend! This is the beginning of you becoming your own biggest cheerleader. If you win, of course you’ll keep cheering. If you lose, you’ll still keep cheering but you’ll also look at what you could improve on to win the next day. You won’t win every day and that’s nothing to get upset about – that’s life. Allow yourself to have bad days and just keep on cheering, regardless.

To summarize:

💗 Accept where you are now.

💗 Don’t be mad at yourself for it.

💗 Know you’re capable of improvement.

💗 Don’t look at your struggles as failures.

💗 Make every struggle a lesson to learn from.

💗 Talk to yourself as though you’re talking to your best friend.

💗 Be your biggest cheerleader.

Girls, I know we can’t just snap a finger and forget all our insecurities and years of societal conditioning that has made us think that we’re less than. But it does get better the more you practice letting those insecurities go. It will take a daily, conscious effort and positive thinking to change your thought patterns. And that starts now.

Those little voices in our head can be strong. So let’s be louder than those voices until our voice is the strongest voice of them all. I’m not asking you to flip a switch and all of a sudden love your body after years of not knowing how. But I am asking you to work with me on it. You deserve to be your own biggest fan. If you aren’t, no matter how much anyone else cheers you on, not much will change until YOU want it to.

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